Stage Four On The Coldest Night Of The Year

The trick is to heat the room hard in the window before the outage and then close every door and hope. It works for about an hour. After that the cold comes back in through the walls with the patience of something that knows it has all night and you have a phone at eleven percent.

Somebody's cousin recommended it. That was enough. Within a week it was in eleven houses, sold out in three shops, and being resold online at a markup by people who bought two, and everyone involved considers the whole thing completely normal.