The Portal Opens At Nine And I Have Not Slept

It was clearly stated that results would appear at nine. It was clearly stated that refreshing would not help. At eight fifty-eight the site went down, at nine-oh-four it returned, and in those six minutes several thousand people aged approximately one year each.

The listing used the word 'passionate' twice and the word 'salary' zero times. It asks for two years of experience for an entry position, which is a joke everybody has stopped finding funny, and it will receive four hundred applications by Friday.