Local Student Raj Officially Declared 'Good'; Parents Shocked
September 19, 2026 · by Raj
Breaking News
Local Student Raj Officially Declared 'Good'; Parents Shocked
In a stunning development that has sent ripples through the local kitchen table, student Raj has officially been classified as "good," according to sources close to the refrigerator report card. Witnesses report that Raj completed his homework prior to dinner and did not once complain about broccoli. Authorities confirmed that the backpack was packed the night before, a move described by experts as unprecedented. While skeptics point out that the definition of "good" remains loosely tied to whether chores were completed, Raj's supporters emphasize the sheer lack of yelling required to get him to brush his teeth. Meanwhile, the family cat remains deeply suspicious of this sudden bureaucratic shift, maintaining that no human can be trusted who goes to bed without complaining about bedtime. Neighbours have been advised to lock their valuables, not because Raj is a threat, but because overachievers are known to organize spice racks when left unsupervised.